


When a Joke Becomes too Real

by Geccarenee13



Category: Original Work
Genre: All characters are OCs based off of instagram pages and/or clubs, College, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Gen, M/M, Roommates, Slow Burn, literally based off of Instagram pages at my college
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:41:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29143158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geccarenee13/pseuds/Geccarenee13
Summary: Conversation with a friend on 1/24/2021 discussing Worediggers and Mines Virginity Club:Comment on a post, "The sexual tension between these two is high"Friend looks at me, "500k, enemies to lovers, slow burn, fanfiction."Me, looks her dead in the eye, "It won't be 500k, but yes."So, here we are with 17k about two boys who hate each other but come to respect and even love each other in just one semester in college based entirely around two Instagram pages that people at my college have made.
Relationships: Alex (Whorediggers)/ various, John (Virginity Club)/Alex (Whorediggers), John (Virginity Club)/Sara (SWE)





	1. Characters

**Author's Note:**

> First, I want to say this story started as a complete joke in a conversation with one of my suitemates, but I have come to love it and hope you do to.
> 
> This chapter depicts each of the main or at least somewhat main characters in the story. The actual story starts next chapter. This story is based at Colorado School of Mines for reference.

This is a list of all the characters and some important facts about them.

Name: Alex  
Pronouns: He/Him/His  
Sexuality: Pansexual  
Home state: Boulder Colorado  
Major: Mechanical Engineering  
Instagram page/club based off of: Worediggers  
Dorm & and roommate if applies: Weaver West Fifth floor; roommate to John

Name: John  
Pronouns: He/Him/His  
Sexuality: Closeted Gay  
Home state: Texas  
Major: Computer Science  
Instagram page/club based off of: Mines Virginity Club  
Dorm & and roommate if applies: Weaver West Fifth floor; roommate to Alex

Name: Chris/Kris (No one knows)  
Pronouns: He/Him/His  
Sexuality: straight  
Home state: California  
Major: Economics  
Instagram page/club based off of: Smooth Brains @ Mines  
Dorm & and roommate if applies: Weaver West Fifth floor; single

Name: Kevin  
Pronouns: He/Him/His  
Sexuality: bi-curious  
Home state: Colorado  
Major: Undeclared  
Instagram page/club based off of: mines_memes  
Dorm & and roommate if applies: Weaver West Fifth floor; roommate and twin of Kyle

Name: Kyle  
Pronouns: He/Him/His  
Sexuality: bisexual  
Home state: Colorado  
Major: Computer Science  
Instagram page/club based off of: mines_meme_man  
Dorm & and roommate if applies: Weaver West Fifth Floor; roommate and twin of Kevin

Name: Ben Jerry  
Pronouns: He/Him/His  
Sexuality: Aro/Ace  
Home state: Alaska  
Major: Electrical Engineering  
Instagram page/club based off of: minesicecreamclub  
Dorm & and roommate if applies: Weaver West Fifth Floor; single

Name: Oliver  
Pronouns: idk  
Sexuality: queer  
Home state: Texas  
Major: Humanitarian Engineering  
Instagram page/club based off of: N/A  
Dorm & and roommate if applies: Weaver West Fifth Floor; roommates with Elijah

Name: Elijah  
Pronouns: He/Him/His  
Sexuality: Questioning  
Home state: International Student (Don’t ask me what country I’m not sure.)  
Major: Civil Engineering  
Instagram page/club based off of: minesdiversity  
Dorm & and roommate if applies: Weaver West Fifth Floor; roommates with Oliver

Name: Sebastian  
Pronouns: He/Him/His  
Sexuality: Gay  
Home state: Boulder, Colorado  
Major: Chemical Engineering  
Instagram page/club based off of: Mines_Little_Theater  
Dorm & and roommate if applies: Weaver West Fourth Floor; roommates with Ethan

Name: Ethan  
Pronouns: He/Him/His  
Sexuality: straight  
Home state: Texas  
Major:Undeclared  
Instagram page/club based off of: snorediggers  
Dorm & and roommate if applies: Weaver West Fourth Floor; roommates with Sebastian

Name: William  
Pronouns: He/Him/His  
Sexuality: N/A  
Home state: Colorado  
Major: Material engineering  
Instagram page/club based off of: Beldagarth  
Dorm & and roommate if applies: Weaver West Fourth Floor; single

Name: Lee  
Pronouns: He/They  
Sexuality: Queer  
Home state: Colorado  
Major: Computer Science  
Instagram page/club based off of: O-Stem  
Dorm & and roommate if applies: Weaver West Fourth Floor; single

Name: Sara  
Pronouns: She/Her/Hers  
Sexuality: straight  
Home state: Colorado  
Major: Environmental Engineering  
Instagram page/club based off of: SWE  
Dorm & and roommate if applies: N/A


	2. Chapter 1: John's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here's the start of the actual story. I hope you enjoy this and I will see you at the end. Just a reminder that all these characters are based on Instagram posts, not actual people! Also, I have never tried to post a picture before, so if it doesn't work that's why.

John sighed happily as his computer set up booted up and he watched his two screens come to life from his position rocked back in his chair. He had been at Mines for two hours and the second thing he did, the first being put his clothes away, was set up his computers. In some important ways he was your stereotypical CompSci major.

His mind wandered from his computers as he heard one of the twins speak loudly from their room next to his. He should probably set up his bed, but John had not expected his room to be as small as it was. He had expected to be able to have a bed to himself, but apparently in Weaver Towers there was not enough space in some of the rooms, like his, to have separate beds and so here he was having to wait for his roommate to arrive before claiming a bed. He had never even talked to his roommate before. He knew he should have, but the summer and packing was crazy and he just didn't get around to it. 

John shook his head taking his mind out of his thoughts and he decided at that moment to go get some coffee. He almost always had coffee on him and honestly it was what kept him going and on track in any case. So, he stood up, pushed in his chair at his new desk and headed out of the suite smiling warmly at Oliver as he passed. 

A few minutes later he stood outside taking a deep breath trying to catch his breath after the five flights of stairs he had just come down. John had lived in Texas his entire life and this move was one of great altitude and he knew it would take a while to get used to all the stairs he would have to do. After a moment he headed off towards where he knew Brown was and Blaster's Brew, the little coffee shop he had been told was the best on campus. He looked around him as he walked trying to remember all the buildings he passed, after all he was going to live on campus for at least a year and go here for the next four. 

When he arrived at Blaster's Brew there was already a line, which was strange he thought. Why were there so many people already getting coffee? John shrugged figuring that it was just how college was. 

He pulled out his phone and read some texts from his mom while he waited. He had driven himself up so he hadn't seen her in a few days and already missed her greatly. His mom was his best friend. She was always there for him, no matter what. _Unless she knew_ , but he shook his head to remove the terrifying thought from his head. He didn't want to think about it and he wouldn't, he decided. 

John's father was a pastor back in Texas and John had grown up in the church. He loved it. The sense of family he had with the regulars, the sense of peace that he felt when he prayed, and the ability to ignore the pressure of society to have a girlfriend and have sex. He knew he should save himself for marriage and God and he liked it. It also helped him ignore the thoughts that came sometimes when he saw one of his guy friends with their shirt off or a guy in a movie whose hair lay just the right way. He didn't have to care that he had only ever had one girlfriend, but it was in middle school and just for the spring dance. It was enough to stop people from teasing him and thinking too much about him.

John was pulled out of his thoughts by a loud voice behind him saying, "You are smokin'". He turned around to see a tall shaggy haired boy with bright green eyes smiling slyly to the girl standing between them who was slowly smiling back. 

The tall boy continued to speak to the girl, "I bet you would look even hotter with less clothes on." At that point John turned back around with a roll of his eyes, a heat burning in his cheeks, and he grasped at the chain with a cross on it around his neck. It's stupid to be frustrated and annoyed at someone you haven't technically meet and hasn't even talked to you, but he couldn't help it. That boy was so forward and it felt wrong to hear his words to the girl.

The last person in front of him left and John was up and he stuttered through his order of a chai latte, wondering why he was so awkward and why the boy was still in his mind. He swiped his Blaster Card and stood to the side to wait for his drink.

He tried to just wait and not think about the conversation happening semi-loudly near him. The boy was still dropping all the pickup lines that John knew of. This boy looked like a stereotypical frat boy from any college wearing a wifebeater, shorts, with a lanyard hanging out of his pocket and a pair of bright red and perfectly clean Nike's. The clothes along with the messy hair gave him a sense of coolness and he was obviously using it to try to pick up this girl on the first day. 

John tried to not pay attention to them but as the girl walked away with her black coffee in her hand and the boy turned to wait for his iced coffee that had so much flavoring in it John doubted it was actual coffee any more, the boy turned towards him having felt the eyes staring at his back.

The boy smiled almost too sweetly as he smoothly said, "You jealous? Don't worry, there's plenty of me to go around." 

John couldn't help but roll his eyes as he replied, "No, I was just wondering if you talked to your mother with that mouth. And hoping that my roommate is nothing like you." The other boy looked shocked and John felt that shock in himself. What made him say that? He's supposed to be kind to everyone. But his flirting had struck a nerve that John had tried to bury a long time ago, and it was true he hoped his roommate wasn't like that boy. 

The boy was still staring slack-mouthed at John as the barista called out his chai latte and He quickly grabbed the coffee and left. The conversation continued to spin in his head as he walked back to his new home, and charred him up the five flights of stairs. The memories flew from his mind as he opened the door to the suite. 

First he heard the tail end of a conversation between Oliver and Elijah from the first double. Oliver was saying, "I guess I just like helping people, you know." While Elijah pinned up a small Black Lives Matter flag above his desk. Ben was setting up his freezer that looked almost too big for RHA regulation. Chris, or Kris, John couldn't remember, came stumbling out of his room and smiled goofily at John as he passed. The second double already had loud music playing and what sounded like an argument brewing between the twins Kevin and Kyle, who were already cementing their place as meme-masters of the suite, but they were always fighting, and it was only the first day. John honestly thought Kyle was funnier if he had to decide. 

After traversing the small hallway down to his room, he opened the door to find several boxes spread everywhere. So, his roommate had come, but he wasn't in here. John noticed a box sitting in front of his keyboard and glowered, then turned and noticed the boxes on the bottom bunk, which meant that his roommate thought he would be getting that one. John wanted the bottom bunk and he was most likely shorter, so why shouldn't he get it.

Trying to calm down from the comb that guy at Blaster's Brew and the tenacity of the roommate he hadn't met yet, he walked over to the window and gazed out towards the sudden plateau in the mountain that everyone called South Table. John was regretting not having talked to his roommate before coming. What if he was rude? What if he was messy and didn't care about cleaning up after himself? This was going to be a nightmare. What even was his name? Aiden? Austin? Albert? Alex! That was it, Alex. 

Just as John remembered his roommate's name he heard the door open behind him and turned to find he had rinsed himself. For coming into his room, and obviously his roommate Alex, was the boy from Blaster's Brew. Alex looked shocked as well for a split second before he smiled and John remembered how when he first looked at Alex in that line he thought his eyes sparkled. Now he knew that they did, but with mirth and maybe a little bit of disguised hate. This was definitely going to be a nightmare.


	3. Chapter 2: Alex's POV

Alex was not sure about this. At all. He was standing in the doorway of his dorm room staring at his roommate who had insulted him just a few minutes ago and said he hoped his roommate wasn't like him. How was he supposed live with this guy? Jake? Job? John. If John already hated him after they had only spoken to each other once, how was this going to work? 

He had driven here on only a few hours of sleep, so he had decided to go get coffee after dropping off his stuff. The line had bored him and the girl in front of him was suitably cute, so he decided to flirt with her a little. It hadn't hurt anyone and gave him and the girl a laugh, and maybe a short future. Then she left and Alex had turned to find this boy looking at him with a strange mixture of fear and hate in his eyes. The boy, John, looked like he was ready for a day at church in his navy blue polo, jeans, and brown loafers, a silver cross sitting on a chain around his neck. Who looked like that? So, he decided to do what he did best, flirt. The reaction he received was less than great. But what sucked was that he actually found the boy's Texas drawl really cute.

After getting his coffee he'd returned to his room hoping that his roommate was there, which he was, but it was the boy from earlier. So, again, how was this going to work? How was he supposed to live with this boy who had heard him flirt with a girl and decided to hate him?

He mentally shook the thought from his head. He was here to learn. He was here to get a degree in Mechanical Engineering. He was here to get into a frat, preferably Beta. He was here to have fun. He was not here to cater to his roommate. He was not here to make friends. Acquaintances were what had always had, and what he planned to keep. He only had to live with this guy for at least a semester, which he could do.

Living with John would have to start with him moving to break them out of their staring contest, which he did, setting down his Grande Iced White Chocolate Mocha on his desk. The movement seemed to snap John out of his own thoughts as well. 

Alex walked over to his new dresser and started unpacking the suitcase of his clothes that he had left on top of it. They were silent for a little as John walked over to his desk and picked up Alex's box that was sitting on it. Alex hadn't meant to leave it there, it was just the first box he set down. John put it down semi-roughly on Alex's desk and returned to his own desk setting up some of the little trinkets he had brought. 

The trend continued in silence until Alex finished organizing and depositing his clothes in the drawers and on hangers in the closet. Then he turned towards the bed and John suddenly spoke up.

"Why is all your stuff on the bottom bunk?" Alex turned to the other boy with a surprised and confused look.

"Your stuff wasn't on either bunk, so I thought I would claim the bottom. Besides I want the bottom." Alex shrugged as he started to move boxes so he could find his sheets and make the bed.

"Why should you get the bottom though? I'm shorter, and I have an earlier class schedule," John argued. 

Alex stared at the other boy for a moment longer before saying with a raised eyebrow, "I mean, you're definitely not a top, that's for sure." Alex watched, enjoying as John's face flushed red with embarrassment and anger. 

"Fine. Whatever, you can have the bottom. I don't care," John replied hotly before turning back to his work of organizing some DnD figures below his screens. Alex turned back to his bed smiling to himself as he also thought that he would hate to fall out of the top bunk while having sex, it sucked. Plus, he had a feeling that John would not enjoy him doing stuff on his bed.

The next ten minutes or so passed in a tense silence as Alex made his bed and John started to search for his own bedding. The silence was broken when Alex brought out his pansexual flag and went to pin it up on the wall by his bed. As he did, he heard a disgusted snort come from behind him. He was fine with everything else, but if John had a problem with this, they were not going to have a good semester. 

So, he spun around, careful to not hit his head on the bunk above him and stared at John with barely contained anger in his eyes before asking, "You have a problem?"

John quickly looked away from Alex and the flag before shrugging grumpily and saying, "I just didn't know you're gay."

Alex took a deep breath to calm himself after hearing the tint of prejudice in his roommates voice and replied, "I'm not gay. I'm pan, there's a difference. I don't care about your junk, just your personality, which means you don't have to worry." 

John glared back and said, "I don't care. But, do you have to flirt with everyone?"

Alex smirked and said, "I don't flirt with everyone, just the ones who seem like they could have a good time, guess I was mistaken with you." 

John is about to reply when Ben pokes his head into the room and says cheerfully, "Hey, we were about to go get some food, you guys wanna come?" John visibly relaxes and puts the pillow he was holding before casting one more look at the flag now fully on the wall and walking out.

Alex looks after his roommate for a moment before realizing that Ben was watching him expectantly and He smiled at the other boy before saying, "I'm good. Thanks." Ben looks at him for a second giving Alex a feeling of being sized up before nodding and leaving with the others.

After a moment, Alex sighed and sat on his bed, putting his head in his hands. Sure, not everyone had been accepting or under his sexuality in the past, but he never had to live with someone so obviously against his lifestyle, and they had only just met. How was he going to survive? At the thought of struggling through this when he already hated talking to basically anyone for fear of saying the wrong thing, a tear slipped down his face, but he quickly brushed it off.

Alex quickly stood up and left the room that still felt heavy and tense after the argument he and John had just had. He went down a flight of stairs to the fourth floor and knocked on the door to suite 44W. William, a tall broad-shouldered guy, opened the door and looked expectantly at Alex. 

Alex stared back for a second before saying, "Hey, could I talk to Sebastian?" William stood to the side and let Alex pass. He moved into the other suite and towards the room he knew his best friend was in. He knew Sebastian was there because he could hear the faint sound of Havertown playing. Alex nicked on the door and his oldest friend opened the door and seeing the look on Alex's face pulled him into the room. 

Alex looked around the room that already had several different posters from musicals up on the walls and a sleeping figure on the top bunk. Alex turned to his friend with a raised eyebrow pointing his thumb at the figure.

Sebastian shrugged saying, "Oh that's, Ethan. Just ignore him. What's up, Whoredigger?" Alex smirked at the nickname and sat heavily in one of the chairs and relayed the last couple hours of stress and misfortune that had come down on him in the form of his roommate. 

Sebastian stared at his friend for a moment before squeezing his shoulder comfortingly and saying, "I mean there's nothing I can really do, but either find something you have in common with him to relate to him with or ignore him. There isn't a lot you can do."

"I know. It's only the first day, it'll probably get better. I hope. Either way, I'll have you. Plus, I think that girl actually liked me earlier." 

Sebastian smirked, shaking his head knowingly and the two friends got up and went to go get some food of their own. 

That night Alex stared at the bunk above him wondering what he should do about the boy sleeping above him and decided to ignore him and focus on what he was actually here for school and joining a frat, rush was coming up and that is what he needed to focus on. A roommate that hated him was not going to bring him down.


	4. Chapter 3: John's POV

"Ok, that's all for this week. It's great to meet all of you, and remember we will start studying the book of Luke next week." John smiled as he looked around the room full of people like him who loved Christ and cared about their religion. He was excited to join this weekly bible study through Christian Challenge, and was glad there was something like this on campus. 

As he walked back to Weaver he thought about the last week that he had been on campus. Had only had two days of classes and it was going alright. Calc and CompSci 101 were going well, Nature and Human Values seemed interesting and his first day of chem lecture went fine, he thinks. Honestly, he was nervous for his classes, especially chem. Was he smart enough to be here? Everyone said that if you were at Mines, people thought you could make it, but did they really mean it? 

Besides classes and his doubts, college was pretty good. He had bonded with Kyle over memes and anime, William over LARPing, and Ben over a mutual love of ice cream. He was getting along with Oliver and Elijah, and he rarely saw Chris, or was it Kris. Kevin tolerated him, though he didn't seem to truly like him, they got along. 

The only real problem was his roommate Alex. How was he supposed to act around him after their first interactions? He hadn't meant to offend Alex when he saw the pan flag, he was just nervous. John had never allowed himself to really think about sexuality and tried to avoid it. Also, he just wasn't used to someone being so open and lude in their words, it caught him off guard. It didn't matter though, cause Alex had taken to ignoring him after that first day. Their conversations were minimal and if they ate together it was with their suitemates, after all who could say no to Ben, he was the sweetest person you ever met. It didn't matter now cause John was focused on classes and Alex was always out slacklining or hammocking or playing ultimate frisbee or spikeball or whatever else people like him did. He also talked about rush and the frats quite a lot and were hanging out with others rushing as well. Maybe it was better that they just ignore each other for the most part.

At this point John had made it back to Weaver and was in the elevator heading up to the fifth floor. That elevator was a godsend, he just hoped it didn't break down, cause he hated the stairs. He still had reading to do for his Comp Sci class tomorrow and what he really wanted to do was climb into bed and sleep. He wasn't really paying attention to his surroundings so he didn't notice when Oliver tried to warn him as he came into the suite. He did notice that Alex had hung one of his ties on their doorknob. The problem was John didn't know what that meant and honestly thought that Alex was just being messy again. So, he sighed, grabbed the tie and opened the door. That was a mistake.

The first thing he noticed were the lights were off. Then he saw the moving figure on the bottom bunk. That's when the noise hit him, moaning. He quickly realized that there was not onefigure but two moving on the bed. John stood there for a second as his mind refused to process what he was seeing. When his mind finally caught up he dropped the tie he was still holding, backed up and slammed the door. 

He slowly walked back into the common room and sat heavily in one of the arm chairs. John's mind was reeling and no matter what he tried the image of his roommate was not leaving. 

After a minute or two his mind cleared enough to see Ben and Kevin sitting across from him on the couch a big tub of ice cream sitting between them. Ben watched sympathetically while John gathered himself then held out a spoon for him to get some ice cream.

Kevin smirked and said, "We tried to warn you."

John blinked at him while shoveling choc into his mouth and said, "I was distracted." Which made them snort. "Where did you get all that ice cream anyways?"

Ben smiled and replied, "Kevin helped me steal it from Mines Market." He high-fived Kevin. 

John shook his head and said, "Like you need more ice cream. Your freezer is full." 

Ben just smiled then Kevin burst out laughing before choking out, "Maybe we should call you ice cream." At that, the others started laughing as well including Kyle and Elijah who had both heard the conversation. 

The laughter stopped suddenly as the girl that John had first seen Alex flirting with that first day walked out of Alex and John's room sheepishly and went on her way. They watched her go and glanced at each other as John got up and headed toward his room to have a talk with his roommate. 

When he walks into the room, Alex is standing by the bed stretching his arms over his head with only his shorts on. John throws the door closed behind him, but it bounces back open, though neither of them notices.

Angrily John explodes, "What was that?"

Alex looks at him calmly and replies, "You're the one who ignored the tie on the door handle."

"What does that even mean?" John asks, throwing his hands up in frustration. Alex looks at him like he's crazy.

"You've never heard of that?!"

John looks Alex straight in the eye and says, "Sorry, I'm not a of Whoredigger."

Alex's face turned stony and he replied, "Well, I didn't mean to offend the Virginity Club." If they hadn't been so focused on each other they would have heard the laughter coming from the doorway where the others were standing and the twins trying not to be too loud in their amusement. 

John's face is bright red as he says, "Sorry that I have a reason to keep my virginity." The roommates stare at each other for a moment before John looks down guiltily and says quietly, "Just let me know next time you want to have your girlfriend over, alright."

Alex cocks his head curiously at John before shrugging and saying, "I don't really do relationships, but I'll let you know next time I bring someone over, alright."

John looks up at Alex and tries not to look at his chest that is actually really mean and defined, to wonder who would do what Alex does. The anger that had filled his body had slowly drained from him and he could see the sincerity in Alex's eyes, so he nods. 

Alex's eyes change, hiding his feelings and turning into his usual stony mirth as he pulls on a shirt and smirks at the doorway behind John. John turns to find their suitemates looking like they were watching a tennis match.

He glowers at them for a moment before snapping, "What are you watching?"

Kevin smirks at him and with a laugh says, "Nothing, Virginity club." Kyle and Chris burst into laughter while the others at least try to look like they're not trying to laugh, though they eventually fail and everyone but John is laughing. After a few minutes, John smiled having to admit that it was kind of funny. 

That night John lay in his bed worrying. Was he being stupid? Was he wrong to be mad at Alex for having sex in their room? Is that what he is mad about? Or was it that Alex didn't tell him beforehand? Did he even want to know? On top of that, there was the image of Alex's bare chest that would not leave his mind. He shouldn't think about how the muscles on Alex's sides moved as he stretched or the almost visible four-pack. 

There was also the matter of classes. They were not even a week into classes and he was already confused and had no idea what to do in some of the classes like chem. He already had taken calc so right now it was review but he wasn't sure about the future. All the people here were so smart, how was he supposed to keep up. People said college was about finding yourself, but how do you find yourself when you are struggling to keep up with everyone else. Even Ethan from downstairs seemed to be doing better than him when he was always asleep and wasn't seen in class.

How was John going to survive here? He really wanted to, but how was he supposed to? He wanted to survive school and now he had to worry about coming back to his room to find Alex having sex. Life was just going downhill right now.  _ It doesn't help that he's cute.  _ A forbidden voice whispered to John as he fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 4: Alex's POV

Alex rushed across the street in front of the library. He had been up late the night before doing homework after a rush event. He had hung around the CU Boulder frats for as long as he could remember, so he never thought that rush would be this difficult. But here he was, almost late to his first chem lab, which they were specifically told not to be late to. A car screeched as the driver slammed on the brakes as Alex ran in front of it towards the chemistry building. 

He skidded to a stop outside of the lab and quickly searched through his bag for his safety glasses. He said them on as he caught his breath and walked into the lab, looking around he saw only one spot left. He walked over and set his backbeat down by his feet. When he glanced up he saw a familiar pair of blue eyes looking back at him. Of course he would get the luck of not only being in the same lab as his roommate but also be right in front of him. 

The TA started talking before he could do more than offer a small smile to John who stared blankly back. Nothing really registered to Alex as his mind wandered and seemed to shut down from lack of sleep. That is until the TA, whose name Alex was just told but could not remember, told the class that their stations would not be moved and the one they were currently at would be theirs for the rest of the semester. Great, that meant that Alex would have to be across from John for every lab this semester. Usually it would be fine, but as Alex was actively trying to avoid John it wasn't. It wasn't like Alex hated John, it was just easier if he didn't let him close so he couldn't get hurt. 

Alex decided that he shouldn't mope about the John situation and instead see who else was around him. He glanced to his right and found a boy with cute glasses peering behind his safety glasses looking back. Alex winked at the boy with a wide smile and a soft blush crept up his cheeks. 

The TA explained how each table would share experiment materials between them. Alex went to look at the black tub, though there was nothing for today, just to talk to the other boy at the table. 

His smile stayed firmly in place as he said, "I'm Alex. And you are."

The other boy blushed deeper and stuttered out a reply, "Jason." 

"Well, it's nice to meet you. Guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other this semester." He winked again as he went back to his station turning back towards the front and the TA. As he did however, he noticed that John had a strange look on his face. For a moment, Alex worried about what the expression was about, but quickly disregarded it. Why should he worry what John felt or thought when Alex was trying to avoid him? He shouldn't, but a small part of him did.

The rest of the lab passed in a series of rules, expectations, quick smiles and winks shared with Jason, and strange looks that bordered between annoyance and a soft of longing. What was going on with his roommate? He mentally shook his head, pushing the thoughts aside and focusing on the present. 

As the TA released the class, Alex saddled over to Jason and said, "So, tell me more about yourself." That was all that Jason needed apparently to tell Alex his life story as they walked towards Weaver. Alex interjected at the appropriate moments with questions and flirty remarks. Jason split off towards Spruce and Alex continued on to his own dorm. 

He got to the elevator right before it closed and slipped in to find John looking back at him.

Alex smiled slightly and fretted John with a quick, " Hi, Virginity Club," which got a nod in response. They were quiet as the elevator moved past the second floor. 

John suddenly asked, "Do you have to flirt with someone in the middle of class? Some people are trying to focus and actually pass." Alex growled wondering what He had done to be stuck with this goody-two-shoes as a roommate.

Instead of asking that question like he wanted to, Alex smirked at John and replied, "Sorry I distract you so much. Maybe you are jealous." John glared at him, his face turning red, but the elevator reached their floor before John could reply.

John stormed out of the elevator and into their suite and past Ben eating ice cream and Oliver working on some Calc. The two glanced up as Alex came in slowly behind his roommate and sat on the couch next to Ben.

Oliver looked up at him over his computer and asked, "You ok?" Alex forced a smile he hadn't realized had fallen back on to his face before nodding. Ben pulled out a spoon out of seemingly nowhere and handed it to Alex who then took a scoop of the Cookie Dough ice cream.

Ben and Oliver looked at each other again before Ben said, "Are you sure? You never take my offer of ice cream and I saw you run out of here this morning." Alex's smile tried to fall but he kept it on his face as he ate another spoonful of ice cream. 

Oliver said quietly, "Is it Rush? That seems stressful." 

Before Alex could reply or his smile could even fall, Chris, or Kris he wasn't sure, popped out of his room and said, "You can go around campus rating each doorknob by how it tastes." Then slowly closed his door leaving the other three staring after the boy.

"I swear his brain is smooth," Alex said staring at the closed door causing Ben and Oliver to laugh loudly. 

Elijah emerged from his and Oliver's room quickly asking if anyone wanted to join him at the NESB meeting before heading out.

"If he doesn't become the poster boy for Mines Diversity, I'll be surprised," Oliver said. The others stared at him and nodded before Alex stood up deciding he had given John enough time to cool down. He honestly didn't know why he kept aggravating John every time he truly talked. He didn't mean to do it, but it is what happened. 

He didn't want another argument today so he quietly entered his room and found John staring at one of the computer screens that had their next Chem assignment up and a page full of scratched out work in front of him. Alex quietly sat at his own desk, pulling out his laptop, and pulling up his email. Alex sighed as he found an email from the frats telling him that two of the frats, including Beta, had chosen for him to move on. He closed his eyes while his heart soared, but when he opened his eyes and saw the information for the next section of rush pulsed out of the page. His schedule was already tight and now he had even more to do. 

How was he supposed to do his homework and classes and rush? His father and older brother had both been in frats in college and expected him to do the same, even if he was going to the nerdiest college he could according to his brother. He didn't want to care about what they said, or about frats, but it was what he was expected to do. Life was hard when you didn't act the way people expected, so why be different? Why should he care what anyone said, thought, or acted? Because that's how he grew up. In high school he went to parties, played sports, and fucked everyone who would because that's what people expected of him. He was a fuckboy and that wouldn't change so why try? 

Slowly he closed his email and decided to take a small nap before his next class. Alex clambered into bed after taking off his shoes and stared at his pan flag, the one thing he did that no one expected, and he loved it.


	6. Chapter 5: John's POV

"Lord help me," John mutters under his breath as he looked at the score on his last attempt on the current Chemistry problem-set. It should have been easy, it was literally nomenclature, but here he was on his fifth try having got three of them correct? How could he be doing it so wrong? He did just fine in high school Chemistry, so why was college so different. 

John leaned back in his chair stretching his arms behind him. He looked at the time in the bottom corner of his computer screen to find that he had been working on the same assignment, with no luck, for an hour. 

There was a small knock on his door which then opened to reveal Oliver who looked as shy as usual.

"Hey, we, Elijah and I, were wondering if you wanted to come get some food with us." John smiled at the other boy before glancing back at his chemistry assignment that was taunting him.

He thought for a moment before shaking his head and replying, " No, I need to finish this assignment. I might get some later." 

Oliver's smile dampened a little before he asked, "Haven't you been working on that for a while? Maybe you should take a break."

John tried to look reassuring as he shook his head, "Ya, but I really need to get it right." Oliver gave John a concerned look but left him to his chemistry leaving the door slightly open as he did.

John sighed once more before turning to his computer. Maybe I do need a break, he thought as he started the assignment over and the letters seemed to float in front of him. John rubbed his eyes and picked up his phone bringing up his music. He clicked on one of the things that always seemed to cheer him up and placed shuffle. 

Soon enough the majestic voice of Leslie Odom Jr flowed through his phone speaker into the room as the first chords of "Wait for It" from the Hamilton soundtrack played. He closed his eyes and focused in on the low words of the first verse and mouthing along as Odom depicts the uniformity and nondiscriminatory nature of love. 

He continued to listen as the words of the second verse and the lyrics "There are things that homilies and hymns won't teach ya" sunk into his mind as they did every time he heard the song. John softly started to sing along with the company then when the beat dropped he opened his eyes and said, "I am the one thing in life I can control," with all of his might, though still quiet, aware of the fact that some of the others might hear. 

He continued to sing along with Odom as his mind unforbiddenly made connections between John and Alex's relationship with Burr and Hamilton. John just hoped that his relationship with his roommate turned out better than Hamilton and Burr's. 

The rest of the song followed in similar fashion until the end when it closed down and John glanced at the door to find it wide open and Alex standing in the doorway watching him with a small genuine smile of his lips. 

John scrambled for his phone as it started to play "Say No to This". His face flushing as He realized that not only had he forgotten to put headphones in to listen to his music, but had been caught in the middle of what he would consider a passionate performance of his favorite song from the musical. Not only had he been caught but by Alex who probably found the whole ordeal hilarious and would never let him forget it.

Before he could press pause however, Alex said, "Wait, I love this song." John's hand froze above the button and he stared at Alex for a moment as Maria Reynolds seduced Alexander Hamilton.

Alex raised an eyebrow at John's expression that still had not moved and said in a tone that told John he was an idiot, "My best friend is Sebastian, and I was on backstage duty twice in high school. What did you expect?" John's mind turned to the boy who lived a floor down and had to admit it made sense. Then he snorted as he realized what song was playing, of course Alex enjoyed it.

"Of course you enjoy this song," John says and turns back to his phone, lowering the volume so it was still audible but they could easily have a conversation over the music.

Alex strode over to his desk, setting down his backpack as he replied, "Well ya, it's underrated. Those high notes and runs from Jasmine Cephas-Jones are some of the best I have ever heard." For once John had to agree, not that he would say so.

Instead he said, "I guess. I think it's just the fact that the song is about Hamilton's affair that people can't get past," Alex nods and John suddenly laughs as he says, "Do you like the show because Hamilton shares your name?"

Alex gives him a playful glare as he replies, "That may be one of the reasons I first started the soundtrack, but I stayed for the vocals, raps, story, and lyrical genius that is Lin Manuel Miranda." 

John shrugged with a small smile on his face as he conceded, "Those are all good reasons, and Miranda is a literal genius." 

"He did have an amazing cast as well. Phillipa Soo and Christopher Jackson can make me cry everytime. Daveed Digs is a master who I don't think anyone can match in speed with the same accuracy while dancing, and Anthony Ramos is absolutely amazing in both his roles. Not to mention Renee Elise Goldsberry." John watched amazed as Alex put all of his own thoughts into words.

John interrupted when Alex took a breath, "And Leslie Odom Jr is the perfect fit for the role of Burr, especially against Manuel's Hamilton."

"Exactly!" Alex exclaimed and they both fell silent for a moment as the last notes of "Hurricane" faded from the room and "The Story of Tonight (Reprise)" came on. That's when the best and longest conversation the roommates had had came to a dissatisfying end.

"You know," Alex started and John turned to look at him expectantly staring into his green eyes that were still sparkling but this time with enjoyment. "It's historically theorized that Alexander Hamilton and John Lawrence had a romantic relationship." John's smile slipped off his face at the words. 

Quickly he turned back to his computer, making a noncommittal notice, and missing the way Alex's face turned sad then angry as he opened his own laptop.

John noticed the correlation between their names and the historical figures and tried to figure out if Alex was flirting or making conversation. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. It didn’t matter what Alex meant because John didn't like guys. Then why do you keep thinking about Alex's bare chest then? John forced the thought away and tried to focus on the work in front of him.

The next few minutes were silent except for the Hamilton soundtrack playing softly in the background and the clicking of John's mouse and Alex's keyboard. John groaned as he finished the assignment to another low score.

Alex glanced over and asked, "That Problem-set 3?" John nodded sullenly. "Would you like some help on it?" John's face flushed at the thought and wondered why Alex was suddenly being nice.

John tried to be chill as he brushed Alex off with a, "Nah, I've got it. Thanks." 

He could tell that he failed as Alex snorted before replying, "Ok. But I'm here if you want it." John glanced at Alex from the corner of his eye. Why was he offering? He seemed like the person who didn't care about grades or others, so why was he doing this? It doesn't matter John told himself as he turned toward the problem-set.

The afternoon continued in this fashion with Alex breeding through his homework while John struggled on the same assignment and they let the entire Hamilton soundtrack, minus "Stay Alive (Reprise)", neither of them wanted to cry, play. Neither of them spoke just enjoying the music and the feeling of not being alone. 

This two and a half period of time would not be mentioned to each other by either for a long time, but it felt like the beginning of something to both of them. And John could not shake the thought that their names matched one relationship but corresponded with another. And as he continually told himself, It doesn't matter. I don't like guys.


	7. Chapter 6: Alex's POV

Alex lay on his back tossing a pillow up and catching it repeatedly as he waited for Sebastian to finish his homework so they could talk. He stared at the white popcorn ceiling as he thought about that moment a week before where he messed up again. 

John and he were actually having a full on conversation about something they both liked. The idea that John would enjoy Hamilton had never occurred to him, even though it was extremely popular. There were just parts of the story and the profanity in the lyrics that Alex thought would have chased John off. Guess he was wrong? He had been caught up in the conversation when he made the comment about Hamilton and Lawrence. He hadn't meant anything by it. It was just a fact. But one little sentence and John's entire demeanor had changed. What was it that John hated so much? Was he simply homophobic? Or was he scared? Maybe he was bidding something?

Before his thoughts could spiral anymore, Sebastian pushed back from his desk. Alex sat up with gusto then helped as the pillow dropped right on his head. Sebastian chuckled quietly as he helped Alex to his feet. Alex opened his mouth to speak but was stopped by a shushing sound from Sebastian and a thumb pointing at Ethan, who was sleeping on the top bunk, again. With a sigh Alex followed his best friend out into his common room where they plopped on the couch. 

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Sebastian asked. Alex looked from his friend to William and Lee who were sitting in the dark chairs across the coffee table. William, who honestly didn't like Alex, stood with a huff and stalked toward his room. Lee watched the other two guys for a moment before realizing what Alex left. The small boy stood quickly stuffing his hands in his oversized hoodie and hurrying away with a smile for both of them. 

Once the others were gone, Alex opened his mouth only to be interrupted once again by Sebastian saying, "This is about John isn't it?" 

Alex froze for a second before scoffing with an automatic smirk gracing his lips, "What makes you say that." 

Sebastian fixed him with a look and replied, "Then what is it about that you didn't want the others, including William who is friends with John, hearing?"

Alex's face fell and said, "Fine. It's about John."

Sebastian faked a surprised look and proclaimed sarcastically, "I didn't see that coming." Alex sent him a withering glare and Sebastian shrugged, "You haven't complained about him in a few days. Plus you're my best friend, I see right through you." Alex smiled at the reminder and launched into the story of finding John jamming out to Hamilton ending with John's reaction to Alex's statement. 

After a moment of silence Sebastian breathed out, "Wow. I didn't expect him to like theater."

Alex playfully glared at his friend, "That's what you focus on, Little Theater." 

Sebastian hit their shoulders together as he said, "You know what I mean." Alex nodded as Sebastian continued, "Besides I don't know what you want from me. I told you at the beginning of the semester to find something you have in common with him, well here you go."

"But what about his reaction to Hamilton and Lawrence?"

"Oh, please. We both know he's closeted." Alex looked startled at Sebastian at this statement. "Or at least I thought we both knew."

"There's no way," Alex started but was interrupted by Sebastian's, "My gaydar never lies." Alex sat in silence for a few minutes letting his friend's words sink in.

"I guess. What do I do though?" Alex finally says.

Sebastian smiles and says, "Nothing. You try to bond with him. He likes theater and you do too. If you want to be friends with him try." Alex nodded and wondered what he really wanted.

"Enough of this. Don't you have that party at the frat tonight." Alex smiled at his friend, remembering that his first event as a part of Beta was tonight. The two friends talked for another half hour before Alex returned to his room upstairs to get ready for the party that night.

An hour later Alex found himself standing outside the Beta Frat house in a collared shirt and jeans, a small part of him told him he looked like John but he ignored it, he should look nice at his first event right? 

Anyways, he stood outside the two story house that already had music with a heavy bass blasting out of it. He took a deep breath, plastered his signature smirk on his face and walked up to the door. The door slid open to a house already full to bursting with people. Alex had been to several frat parties with his brother back in Boulder, but this seemed large and crazy for a "nerd school" and was his first interaction with a lot of these people.

Suddenly there was an arm around his shoulder and one of the older frat guys was pulling him into the kitchen. The medium sized room didn't have as many people in it but was stuffed with alcohol of all kinds including two kegs. 

"Yo, Chad! I found one of the newbies. Look, he's so cute in his little shirt." The boy holding onto him shouted out and another guy, apparently Chad, turned to them with a large grin on his face. He sized up Alex and grabbed a red solo cup full with what was most likely beer before handing it to Alex and watching him expectantly. Alex knew the drill and he tossed the entire drink down not letting the burn get to him. If he was honest, he hated the taste but he had been around it enough that he could drink stuff like this with ease.

The two older boys clapped Alex on the shoulder before filling his cup and pushing him out to the crowd of people that was wherever the music was coming from. He glanced around and noticed that a sort of dance floor had been erected in the middle of the room. He wandered over to it and stood on the edge, sometimes taking a sip from the drink in his hand to keep up pretenses. 

Soon enough Alex knew he was heading to the more tipsy side and he set down his drink and danced to a couple of songs. The night continued in a similar fashion with small drinks and a lot of dancing. At one point Alex found himself dancing with a cute guy with curly hair and a loose smile. The look in the boys eye was a familiar one and Alex looked the boy up and down. When he glanced at his face the boy was biting his lip. Alex knew he was drunk, but at that moment he didn't care.

He grabbed the other boy's arm and dragged him outside. Once outside they shared a quick and sloppy kiss before Alex was dragging him back towards Weaver. They laughed as they stumbled down the street. 

After what seemed like forever Alex and the boy from the party were in the elevator heading up to the fifth floor of Weaver. He entered the silent suite and led the boy to his room. Only as he was opening his door did he remember promise to John. Oh well, at least he's here for me to tell him I need the room, Alex thought as he opened the door to see John sitting at his computer.

Alex grinned drunkenly at his roommate as he said, "Hey can I have the room?" John looked at him with a raised eyebrow until he saw the other boy right behind him and his face fell becoming almost sad. 

Quickly John grabbed his phone and pushed past Alex and the boy roughly muttering, "Fine," as he went. 

The door closed behind John and suddenly Alex and the boy were kissing, their lips smashing and the smell of alcohol filled the space between them. Alex pulled his shirt off over his head as the other boy kicked out of his pants. They fell towards the bed, the other boy getting on top of Alex and kissing his neck.

Suddenly John's hurt face passed through Alex's mind and he said, "Stop," as he pushed the other boy off of him. The boy looked at him curiously as Alex sat up and put his head in his hands. What was he doing? Why was he thinking of John right now? The other boy, feeling the heat leave stood and grabbed his pants to put them back on.

"Well that was fun. Hope to see you around." Alex didn't acknowledge him and the boy huffed and left.

Alex looked up and blinked to try to clear the blur from his eyes that he thought was from the alcohol but as water ran down his face he realized he was crying. Why did he think of John in that moment? He was having fun and the boy had been cute. So, why did he stop. Sebastian's earlier statement about John popped into Alex's head and He couldn't help but wonder if he was right. He hoped so because he realized that he had come to like John. He thought of him because he wanted that boy to be John. 

Alex thought back to when he first met John. He had flirted with him right off the bat, and no matter what John thought, he did not flirt with everyone, just those he thought were worth it. And he had flirted with John and continued to do so off and on even after he knew who John was. Alex had always liked John; he had just let frustration cloud his mind.

Alex played down on the bed and rolled over to the wall staring at it through tear blurred eyes and let them flow. He hopped John was gay or by or something, because liking a straight, and possibly homophobic, guy would kill him.


	8. Chapter 7: John's POV

John sat in bible study on the Tuesday before his first chem exam and tried to pay attention. He was struggling greatly though and he honestly hadn't taken in a word of what the others were saying for the last twenty minutes. The test just was looking and part of him thought he should have not come tonight in favor of studying, but it was too late now. He had struggled through assignments and labs, which we always colored by Alex flirting with Jason. The last week had been filled with study sessions and yet there was no way he was ready for this test. His memorization of acids and polyphonic ions were shoddy, his problem solving skills were lacking in every sense of the word. There was no way he passed this test, and thus the class.

John's dismal thoughts were pushed out of his head as he sensed the person next to him standing up. He looked up to see people packing up, standing, milling around, or leaving. So, it was over. John quickly stuffed his bible into his bag and stood, just as a person walked in front of him. They collided and John had to catch her arm to steady her.

After a clumsy moment, the girl turned and smiled at him. She was cute, objectively. Her light brown hair framed her face where her coca brown eyes twinkled as her slime revealed straight white teeth.

"Sorry about that. I'm Sara." 

"John," he replied as he let go of her arm. They both headed toward the door in silence, John once again lost in thought of the test to happen the next night.

"So, are you in Chem?" Sara asked and John looked at her surprised, " You were really distracted and I know there's the first exam tomorrow."

John smiled slightly, "Am I that obvious?" Sara giggled as they headed up the road toward the student center.

Sara suddenly asked, "What dorm are you in?"

John quickly replied, "Weaver. You?"

"Oh cool. I live in Elk. Do you happen to know Elijah. He also lives in Weaver and we're friends. We're both involved in a lot of the same things."

John looked at her appraisingly as he replied, "Ya, he's my suitemate. So you're a part of NESB and those things?"

She nodded. "Ya, though my main club is SWE." John smiled at her as she continued to talk and enjoyed the way that she was passionate about SWE. Plus she was obviously smart, being here. And she was cute. But you like boys a voice that almost sounded like Alex whispered in the back of his head. 

He ignored the thought as he took advantage of a pause in her chatter to ask, "Would you like to go get dinner some time?" 

Sara looked surprised for a moment before nodding with a smile. "Sure. How about this Sunday?" John smiled and nodded before they split ways to their separate dorm buildings.

John still had a smile on his face until he was in the elevator. What was he doing? Part of him knew he wasn't good for her and he shouldn't lead her on or take her on a date. But she was a good, smart, cute, Christian girl. Exactly What his parents expected. What he wanted. Do you? The voice hissed and John shook his head as the elevator doors opened. It didn't matter right now. What mattered was the Chem test the next night, which he should study for before bed.

Five nights later John found himself walking to downtown Golden and Woody's with Sara talking about everything and nothing at the same time. It was nice walking with her. They talked about their classes and majors, she was an Environmental Engineer.

When they got to the restaurant John was glad he had thought ahead and made a reservation because there was what felt like a ton of people waiting to get a table. They sat at one of the outside tables with a view of the Welcome to Golden sign. John pulled out Sara's chair for her and then sat down himself. They were quiet for a few minutes as they looked at the menu trying to decide what to order. John's phone buzzed, but he didn't bother to check it. It could wait.

"Would you like to share a pizza?" Sara asked looking up. 

John thought for a moment before replying, "As long as there's no pineapple on it."

Sara laughed and said, "Deal, though it isn't that bad. Anyways, I was thinking of Nothing but Meat." John struggled to find it on the menu for a minute, until Sara pointed it out with a chuckle. John read what was included on the pizza and nodded. Sara smiled and when the waiter came back with their drinks they ordered the pizza.

Once the waiter had left Sara smiled at John and said, "So, tell me about yourself." John looked taken aback for a moment before he relaxed and mentally complied what he should tell her.

"I'm from a small town in Texas. My dad is the local pastor and my mom is an elementary teacher. I've always been interested in computers and in high school I did robotics and fell in love with programming. I decided to come to Mines to get out of Texas and get a great education. What about you?" Sara listened intently as he spoke.

"That's really cool. Um, I've lived in Colorado my whole life. My parents are Forest Rangers and I've always loved the outdoors. Mines is the best school and that's what I wanted. I want to be able to help people through the environment. What do you like to do outside of school?"

"I play some video games. I enjoy LARPing, reading, and musical theater."

"Ooh. What's your favorite musical?" Sara asked leaning forward as if she really wanted to know what he had to say.

"Either Hamilton or Singing in the Rain." Sara laughed at his answer.

"Those are two very different musicals. One mainstream and a classic. I'm kind of the same. I really enjoy Legally Blond and Thoroughly Modern Millie. Oh and Six! That one's are really interesting. It's about the six wives of Henry the eight." John listened to her happily as she talked about several different musicals. 

Soon enough their pizza arrived and conversation was replaced by the delicious and cheesy concoction. But, between bits they talked and laughed discussing stupid things they had seen others do and their friends. After not too long, the pizza was gone and John was paying for their meal.

They walked back to campus together discussing the classes they have the next day and the struggle that is adjusting to college. Once in between their buildings they faced each other and suddenly Sara was hugging him.

"I had a great time tonight." Sara told him as she pulled back.

John smiled at her as he replied, "Me too. We should do it again sometime." Sara nodded and walked away smiling back at him. 

John headed up the stairs and smiled to himself as he thought about the time he had spent with her. It was nice to just talk.

As he entered the suite he was greeted by the sight of Ben sitting on the couch trying to eat his ice cream in peace while Kevin and Kyle were on either side of him arguing about who's meme was better. 

Then Chris came out of his room just long enough to say, "Beauty is temporary, Mars is forever." What did he walk into? John shook his head as he headed back to his room.

Carefully he opened the door, hoping Alex wasn't being an idiot and forgetting to lock the door or something. 

Before he fully opened the door Oliver appeared behind him and asked, "How did you do on the Chem test?" 

John could feel the blood drain from his face as he asked, "They sent back the scores."

Oliver looked concerned as he said, "Ya, earlier tonight. Haven't you checked your email." John shook his head as Oliver continued, "Apparently it didn't go too well." 

At that moment John pushed his room door open and rushed to his computer bringing up his email. He collapsed in his chair as he saw his score. A 54. How did he get a 54? That's the lowest score he'd ever gotten on anything.

He put his elbows on the table and his head in his hands, and tried to clear his head.

Alex's voice broke through the mist that had fogged his mind, " You ok dude?" John groaned yo his hands in reply.

Alex sighed lightly as he said, " If you ever need help on Chem, I'm here." John looked up into Alex's sincere eyes and his stomach fluttered.

"No, thanks." John said before he could really think. Alex smiled sadly at him and left him to his sulking. John wondered why he said no to Alex. He needed help and knew that Alex was smarter than he looked.

John's phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out to a text from Sara. He smiled at his phone but the smile fell as his chem score screamed out at him from his computer screen.


	9. Chapter 8: Alex's POV

Alex heard a low chuckle and looked over to find John texting with a small smile on his face. Again. It made his stomach twist. Seeing John so happy with Sara made him nervous. Was Sebastian wrong? Was John straight? Ever since the night of the party he hadn't really noticed anyone but John. Had Alex fallen for a straight boy? Cause that would suck. Also, it would mean that all of John's actions and comments were actually born of hate and not fear. Alex didn't know what he would do if that was the case. What could he do? Just make it through the semester then try to move to a different room or dorm, he guesses.

After a few minutes of staring while lost in thought, Alex turned back to his own laptop and glanced at his phone. He had his own text from Jason from Chem lab. Alex had tried to stop or at least slow down his flirting with Jason, but he had to admit the guy was cute, funny, and honestly looked like he had a good body. So, when he opened the text to find an invitation to hang out he agreed readily. Neither he nor John said anything as Alex left the room. 

Kevin smiled at him from where he was lounging on the couch scrolling through memes Alex would probably see later in the common area. "Where you going?"

"I'm gonna hang with Jason." 

Kevin's eyebrows scrunched as he thought and eventually asked, "That the one from Chem lab, right?" Alex nodded a little confused. "Just be careful bro." Alex looked at him blankly then another laugh came from his room and his face hardened. 

Kevin saw the hardness in his look and said, "Maybe you shouldn't go."

Alex glared at the other boy and said hotly, "I can do what I like and you can't stop me." Before Kevin could reply Alex was out of the suite and heading for the stairs.

Before he knew it Alex was standing outside of Spruce waiting for Jason. His stomach turned as he thought about John and in that moment decided exactly where this thing with Jason would go. Jason appeared in front of him and smiled, his glasses falling down his nose a little.

"So, where do you want to hang? We could go slacklining in Kafadar. I've seen you do that a couple times." Jason asked rambling a little causing Alex to smile before settling his face into his traditional smirk.

"So, you've been watching me outside of class?" Alex enjoyed the flush that crept across Jason's face. "I was actually thinking that we could hang in your room." Alex winked to go with the statement and Jason flushed deeper before smiling and grabbing Alex's hand, dragging him into Spruce and his room.

"I honestly thought you were just stringing me along," Jason said as they went up the stairs toward the third floor.

Once they got to Jason's room, Alex pushed the other boy inside and closed the door behind them. They started slow with a simple kiss that quickly turned to Alex's back pressed against the door as Jason kissed down his neck. Alex moaned as the lips caressed his collar bone and tugged at Jason's shirt which came off when Jason backed his head off for a moment before resuming the string of kisses. Alex kicked off his shoes and tugged his own shirt over his head. 

As the fabric of the shirt passed his eyes, John's face flashed through Alex's mind. Alex shook his head trying to stop thinking of the boy he liked more than he had liked anyone before. 

Jason stopped and breathlessly asked, "You ok?"

Alex looked into Jason's eyes as he took off his pants and said, "Fuck yes."

The next half hour was kind of a blur for Alex and the next thing he truly knew he was being big spooned by Jason on the small bed, both of them naked. Alex breathed sharply as he realized exactly what he did in order to distract himself. He had ruined another relationship. Alex knew he didn't like Jason and had used him. There was no way Alex could look at Jason the same way anymore. Alex got up and started gathering his clothes that were strewn around the room.

Jason propped his head up on his hand and asked, "You leaving?"

Alex didn't turn around as he said, "Um, ya."

Jason sounded disappointed as he got up to get dressed, " Ok. I'll see you in lab?"

Alex opened the door as he said, "Sure." After closing the door behind him, he stood leaning against the door breathing heavily and trying to calm his racing mind and heart. Slowly he made his way out of Spruce back to Weaver. 

What Alex was not expecting to see when he returned to his suite was Kevin, Sebastian, and Ben sitting in the common room. Ben stood up, handed Alex a bowl of chocolate ice cream, and left for his room. Sebastian stood forcing him to sit on the couch next to Kevin as he took one of the armchairs. 

Alex looked between his two friends before asking, "What is this?"

Sebastian looked him straight in the eyes and said, "This, is an intervention." 

Alex groaned and took a bit of his ice cream. Around the cold delicacy, he said, "I don't need..."

Kevin interrupted, "That's completely false." Alex glared at the meme-master but received a sincere look of concern.

"Kevin told me how you were acting earlier when you left," Sebastian continued, causing Alex to send another glare at Kevin.

Kevin threw up his hands in exasperation and said, "What? I'm worried about you. You haven't been acting the same since that party a few weeks ago. I saw that guy leave that night. He looked mad. Then you seemed different." Alex sunk into himself and took another bite of the ice cream which gave him strength.

Sebastian took off from where Kevin had stopped, "And when John started seeing Sara you got all mopey and sad. You like John don't you?" At that, Alex looked down and felt a single tear drift down his face.

Kevin continued, "Then when you said you were going to see Jason I had a feeling what you were doing. Which I was right about." Alex looked up at his suitemate who gestured to his own hair. Alex realized that he probably looked like an absolute mess.

"I know you, Alex. We both know Whoredigger is just a joke. You can't bury your feelings in sex. I've seen you try it before and it doesn't work." Sebastian got up from his chair to crouch before Alex. He took the now-empty bowl from Alex's hands, set it on the coffee table, and pulled his friend into a hug.

Alex felt numb but let a couple of tears fall as he was enveloped by the warmth of his best friends. He choked out, "What if he is straight? Did I just break the number one rule and fall for a straight guy?"

The others laughed at this before both saying they'd been there. Alex smiled at the memory of Sebastian's old crush from freshman year.

Alex then sobered as he said, "But I fucked up another relationship. Jason is a nice guy and I used him, even if he doesn't know it."

Sebastian looked him in the eye and said, "People make mistakes. You just have to own them. You don't have to tell Jason but you can't use another person like you just did." Alex nodded numbly. 

Kevin suddenly said, "Oh My God, they were roommates!" Causing Alex to laugh with him.

Sebastian smiled quietly and said, "There we are. You good?" 

Alex immediately sobered and said, "Not fully, but ya." 

Kevin smiled and said, "That's all we can ask for. We're here if you need us, You know." Alex smiled and nodded.

Suddenly Kris came out of his room, looked at them, and grabbed a cup of grapes from the fridge they had in the common room. He slurped the grapes up as they watched.

Finally, Alex asked, "What are you doing?"

Chris looked over and said, "Drinking apple juice."

Kevin raised an eyebrow, "Those are just grapes."

"It's the antiderivative, bro," Kris said as he threw the cup away and walked away, the three friends staring after. They all meet eyes before bursting out laughing. 

An hour later Alex walked towards his room but stopped as he heard "You Will be Found" from Dear Evan Hansen coming from the room. That never was a good sign. He slowly opened the door to find John sitting at his desk staring at another less than stellar Chem assignment, with tears coming down his face.

Alex winced and said, "Are you ok, Virginity Club?"

John looked up suddenly wiping at his face before replying, "Ya, I'm fine, Whoredigger." Alex gave him a concerned look and John relented, "Ok I could use some help."

Alex smiled as he pulled his own chair over and said, "Well, just call me your tutor." Alex's stomach fluttered at the small smile that appeared on John's face and started to explain molecular mass.


	10. Chapter 9: John's POV

What are you doing? A voice screamed at John from his mind as he pulled back from the kiss. He could still feel Sara's hands, one on his arm and one on his thigh. They had been watching a movie on his computer while sitting on his bed. The movie was still playing in the background but they hadn't truly been watching it for the last fifteen minutes. 

Sara looked at John curiously while a conversation between two characters in the movie was the only sound in the room. Sara was leaning over John as he propped himself up on his forearms. They had been making out, something that John had come to almost appreciate when the voice came back into his head. Sara had moved one of her hands from the back of his head to his thigh about half way between his knee and crotch and his mind had short circuited.

Sara was an amazing girl. Smart, funny, beautiful, soft. But he just didn't know what he thought. He could still feel the tingling on his lips from hers moving against them. His lips tasted like her cherry chapstick, and he couldn't help but chuckle a little at the Katy Perry song that ran through his head. "I kissed a girl and I liked it." Those were the lyrics, but he couldn't help but think that they didn't fit him. Sure it Was nice being with Sara and hanging out, but this just didn't feel right. It didn't feel like he should be doing what he was. And not only because of his religion. There was just something about Sara that didn't feel right. He didn't know how to explain it. Yes, you do. The voice hissed at him.

By this point Sara had removed her hands from his body, though he had not moved. She was pretending to watch the movie intently but he could see her eyes flick back to him several times over the span of a minute. Slowly he sat back up and tried to turn his attention to the movie, but that was definitely not going to happen. For one he had never seen this movie and missing a good fifteen minutes of it left him completely lost. Even if he had understood what was happening on the screen, his thoughts would not stop racing. 

What was wrong with him? Any other guy when a hot girl was kissing and touching them like that would love it and not pull back like he had. Even those who believed in the Word like he did. It was natural. And yet here he was ruining one of the best things he had ever had. For what? A stupid thought that was morally wrong. He was being incredibly stupid. 

Before he realized it the credits were rolling on his computer screen and he clambered off the bed to stop them. John turned around to find Sara looking at him with an indecipherable look. He raised his eyebrows at her in a silent question. She stood and crossed to him before planting her soft lips on his and her hands found their way to his biceps. Without thinking he pulled back a little breathless and shook off her grip.

John turned to his computer and blushing said, "Um, do you want to help me with my Comp Sci homework?" What could he say, he wasn't sure how to distract her. She spun him to look him in the eye and after a moment smiled sadly and shook her head.

"I know what this is," she stated and John's heart sunk into his stomach. What did she mean? Did she think he didn't like her? Well you don't. The voice sang in his head. He shook his head. She was perfect for him and… what? He just didn't know. Sara took his silence in steam and quickly gathered her stuff.

Before leaving she reached up and kissed his cheek saying, "It's alright. If you like guys." He froze and she backed up metaphorically, " If you do. It's alright. I had fun and we will still be friends." John stood frozen as she walked to the door.

Her door on the handle she looked back at him and said, "You're a great guy John. Nothing will change that. God still loves you." And she left closing the door behind her. 

For several minutes he stood in the same place staring at the closed door, his mind struggling to comprehend the events. Finally he fell into the chair in front of his desk, placing his head in his hands. What did she mean? Was it alright if he liked guys? You do. What did that even mean? Unbidden memories of a cute guy from high school flirted through his mind then the memory of fighting with a shirtless Alex stuck. He had been so flustered, but it was just because he was mad right? No, you know the truth. Was Sara telling the truth? Did it matter if he liked guys? Would God still love him? A different voice in his head told him yes. Would his family still love him? Now that was a different matter. His dad wasn't exactly outspoken, but he was a pastor. 

John shook his head. That does matter because he doesn't like guys. Right? Who are you trying to convince right now? The first voice asked snarkily, reminding him of Alex. It's right. Who was he kidding? He had gone out with the girl in middle school because it was expected. He had gone out with Sara cause she was sweet and perfect for what was expected of him. By who? His parents would never accept him otherwise. Right?

His head was still spinning. He could feel his heart beating fast and it seemed to be logged in his throat. His breathing was definitely faster that it needed to be. He tried to breathe, but it seemed to not want to pass the lump of a heart in his throat. As he continued to struggle Alex opened the door carrying with him two bowls of ice cream.

"Hey Virginity Club, or should I still call you that? I saw Sara leaving. You want some ice cream, Kevin and Ben stole some more from Mines Market." Alex was babbling as he entered the room and closed the door behind him. When he set the second bowl of ice cream on John's desk he stopped looking at John, who figured he didn't look so good. "Hey, you alright?" John tried to answer but his breathing was coming too fast and the words were sticking on the other side of his throat. Alex took one look at his struggling roommate and slept into action. He set his bowl down and turned John in the chair so they were facing each other. 

"Hey. Hey. Look at me." John struggled to do so and those green eyes bore into him with such concern that he flinched and tried to look away.

"Nope. Look at me. Listen to my breaths and try to match them." Alex started to breath exaggerated and John tried to force his breaths as deep. Slowly more and more air got past his heart that still seemed loud and too far up his throat.

After several minutes of staring at each other and deep breaths John felt like his heart was in the right place and his mind was calmer. Ish. Slowly he let his head hang and he continued to breath. He suddenly felt a hand on his knee and looked up to see Alex still looking at him with concerned eyes.

"You alright?" John shrugged noncommittally. "Do you want to talk about it? Was it Sara did she break up with you or something? Or is it classes?" Alex waited patiently but John thought about what he said. Sara had just broken up with him, and he honestly wasn't too upset. Did that mean something?

Finally John replied, "Um. I don't want to talk about it, but thanks." Alex nodded and stood up grabbing his ice cream. "Just let me know if you need anything. I'm here for you." 

John nodded then turned to his own bowl of stolen goods. Did he like guys? Yes! The voice yelled at him and finally he agreed with it. 

His phone buzzed and he found two messages. One was a meme from Kyle which he'd look at later. The other was from Sara. It said "I'm here if you need anything I'm here for you. And remember it's alright to love whoever you want." John sent back a quick thanks and stared at his mostly melted ice cream. A lot had just happened. Everything with Sara. That weird moment of panic that was like nothing he'd handled before. And finally his, mostly, acceptance of the fact that he did in fact like guys. John lifted the spoon to his lips and opened the meme from Kyle. He definitely deserved this, and a break.


	11. Chapter 10: Alex's POV

A few weeks later found Alex and John studying for their second Chemistry test. Alex looked over at John while the other boy finished answering a problem. He thought back to that night those weeks ago where he had found John and talked him through what Alex thought was a panic attack, though John wouldn't really acknowledge it. Alex still didn't know what it was about and it honestly wasn't any of his business, but he couldn't help but wonder. 

Alex looked quickly back to his own paper when he felt more than saw John glance at him. John pushed his paper to Alex and He quickly scanned it before telling him it was correct.

As John went back to his work Alex looked him over again. John's blond hair had slowly grown out of its usual coif over the semester and his blue eyes that had held so much contempt for him at the beginning now held something different. Acceptance? Friendliness? Longing? Alex shook his head at the last thought. John was straight, he was pretty sure, and besides John would never want him. Just another downfall of falling for a straight boy, especially one who's your roommate.

The next few minutes passed in silence as they worked. It was only interrupted by John asking Alex to check his work and Alex's responses. Usually John was just doubting himself, but sometimes Alex had to correct something or explain a concept. John had definitely grown since Alex started to tutor him, and Alex was proud of him.

John suddenly looked at Alex and Alex looked up expectantly though John didn't slide his work over. Instead the other boy asked slowly, "Can I ask you a question?" Alex's mind raced as he raised his eyebrows.

"Sure. What is it, Stoichiometry?" Alex responded even though he had a feeling John's question was not about Chemistry.

John flushed as he stammered, "Uh, no. Actually… I was wondering, how did… How did you know you were Pan?" Alex stared dumbfounded at his roommate for a minute. What? Why would he want to know that?

John obviously took Alex's silence the wrong way because he was suddenly looking back at his work blushing furiously as he said, "I'm sorry. Forget I asked. I didn't mean anything by it." Alex quickly shook his head. Did John want to know because he wanted to make fun of him? Or compare experiences? No, John was straight. It didn't hurt anyways.

Alex cleared his thought as he started, "No, it's fine. You just surprised me. I guess part of me always knew. I remember in elementary school I always chased girls with the other boys, and sure they were cute cause duh. But I also remember finding my friends cute in the same way. One time in middle school a bunch of us guys were watching a movie and they were talking about how hot this one character was. Which she definitely was, mind you. But I was also staring at her love interest who was just as hot as she was. All they were talking about however was her." John was watching him with rapt attention as he talked though something he hadn't bothered to put into words before. 

He took a deep breath before continuing, " I think the time I really came terms with it was at a party freshman year. We were playing spin the bottle. I know, original." Alex said at John's snort, "Anyways, a lot of the people would spin again or do a kiss on the cheek or something if they hit someone of the same gender, you know how people do." He rolled his eyes at John's confused look and shake of his head. Of course the boy had never been to a party or played spin the bottle. "Nevermind. It was my turn and I spun the bottle. It landed between this one girl and guy, both of whom were pretty cute and I had noticed before. Anyways a lot of people were like 'Spin again' or 'Just kiss Lizzie' and without thinking I leaned over and just laid one on both of them in turn. A few people made a little bit of a fuss but most were too drunk to really care. But a few days later I was thinking about it and realized I had liked both. I wanted to kiss both of them in the same way. I didn't care that one was a guy. So I started thinking about everyone I had liked or thought about in that way and there was no pattern. Boy, girl, androgynous. Long hair, short, medium. Muscular and sporty, skinny and nerdy. It didn't matter, they were all the people I wanted. I did some research and realized I was pan. So, ya." John was silent watching him for a minute as he fidgeted.

"Thanks for telling me." Alex looked at his roommate to find a small smile which he returned.

"Of course. Let's get back to chem. But would you mind if I played some music." At John's approval, Alex looked through his music and shuffled the Rent playlist. The music of "I'll Cover You" played through the room. 

They returned to their work for a moment before John asked, "What's this?"

Alex looked at him with a raised eyebrow and said, "You don't know Rent?"

John looked down and flushed saying, "Not really. I don't know a lot about it. I've heard 'Seasons of Love' though."

Alex shot him a look, "You know that does not count. Every theater kid knows that song. We are now going to listen to this entire soundtrack and I will explain it as we go." 

Alex took his phone and restarted the entire Rent soundtrack from the beginning. They kind of worked on Chem while the soundtrack played and Alex explained the characters and plot points that weren't in the songs. By the end both of them were crying and their chem had been finished. Overall, it was a very productive study session, Alex thought.

Later that night Alex barged into Sebastian's room and flopped on his bed before looking up to see both Sebastian and Kevin looking at him. He smiled warmly at them, his heart simultaneously lighter and heavier. Lighter from the conversation he had had with John and speaking his mind on something he hadn't spoken before. Heavier because the feelings he had been trying to suppress were coming back even stronger. Why was he doing this to himself? John was straight. And sure they were getting along better now but that didn't change that simple fact.

Alex opened his mouth to speak but both Sebastian and Kevin shushed him while pointing at the bunk above him where Ethan was most likely sleeping, again.

He rolled his eyes and continued in a low whisper, "You would not believe the study session I just had with John." They looked at him expectantly and he told them about the random question and conversation and resultant Rent marathon. 

After he finished his story he asked them, "What do you think?" The boys were silent for a moment before looking at each other.

Kevin said, "I think he likes you. Or thinks he might."

Alex went to argue but Sebastian interrupted, "I know you think he's straight, but I honestly doubt it. But remember we're still here no matter what." 

And with that declaration the three put on a movie and joked while it played with Kevin showing them meme after meme. It wasn't enough to distract Alex from thoughts of John though and his thought continued to flit back to his roommate and his bright hair and eyes and cute accent. Ya, I have it bad. Alex thought as he tried to pay attention to his friends.


	12. Chapter 11: John's POV

The week after Thanksgiving came quickly. John loved being home and taking a break, but the entire time he was home he couldn't stop thinking about school or Alex. John honestly missed seeing Alex everyday and couldn't wait to see his roommate. Besides seeing Alex again there were his classes. He had a good feeling about all of his classes and his group's design project was coming along nicely. With Alex's help he had even become more confident in Chemistry.

But no matter what he still had to study and had several projects due for different classes. So when he got back on campus he was automatically swamped with work and didn't notice a lot of the people around him, except for the fact that they all seemed stressed. Kevin and Kyle weren't sending nearly as many memes. Oliver had been seen crying twice. Elijah barely left his room for class and meetings. Ben had not brought in more ice cream in a few days. Chris was actually seen for more than a moment on several occasions. But the biggest difference that John noticed was Alex.

Since they came back Alex has been almost silent. It didn't seem to John that he was getting any sleep, but at the same time he didn't seem to be doing a lot of classwork. In fact John had heard Alex say that he didn't even have to take the final exam for two of his classes. And yet he was withdrawn in a way that John had yet to witness.

A week after they returned from Thanksgiving, John gave in and asked Alex what was wrong after waking up at two in the morning to find Alex was still awake. 

In a voice still husky from sleep John asked, "What's wrong?" Alex jumped, having not expected John being awake and turned to face him.

"Nothing. Go back to sleep." Alex tried to assure John, but there was something in his voice that caused John to sit up in his bed to get a better look at Alex. Alex sensing that he wasn't going to get away from this reached over and turned on the lamp on his desk. 

Alex shrugged and said, "I guess I'm just stressed." 

John waited a moment to see if Alex would offer up any more info before asking, "Classes?" Though part of him knew that wasn't the problem on Alex's mind.

Alex looked thoughtfully for a moment before replying, "Not really. I guess it's more about what happens at the end of the semester and when I go home." John sent him a look to tell him to continue if he wanted. "It was nice being home for Thanksgiving. But I was only with family. Being home for a month means I have to go out and see people and I guess it scares me." John twinkled his eyebrows. Why would Alex be scared of going home and seeing people?

"I thought you were popular back home?"

Alex shook his head, "When you're known for being a fuckboy or a whore, not a lot of people appreciate your presence." John studied his friend who seemed small, and not just because he was looking down at him. The entire time he had known him Alex wanted to have people like him, though he never allowed people get too close, including him.

"Why don't you try to change their minds about you?" 

Alex gave him a confused look, "How would I do that when they have thought of and treated me like it for a long time?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know I wasn't always so… sexually active. Freshman year of high school I had a girlfriend. She was really nice and smart and hot. We had sex. It was my first time and it was nice. It was a few months into my research into my sexuality and I decided to come out to my girlfriend. She apparently didn't like it and went around telling the entire school that I had cheated on her with not one but two different people and she said people so they asked and she told them I'm pansexual." John gasped a little as the story unfolded before his eyes. He would let anyone in either if someone had outed him like that.

Alex looked like he was trying not to cry as he continued, "Everyone started to treat me like I was what she had said. Anytime I went on a date they treated it like I was fucking the person. Don't get me wrong I did have sex a couple more times that year, but that was because I wanted to. The only person who really stood by me was Sebastian. It continued to the point that I decided that there was no point in acting like I wasn't what they thought I was so I did."

John interrupted before he could think, "But you aren't that."

Alex smiled sadly, "But they always said that I was faking being nice just to get into the next 'victim's' pants. It got to the point that I just flirted instead of talking because it was easier to see what people expected from me, you know." John shook his head, he really didn't

Alex shrugged and said, "I guess i got so used to it, it became me and when I came here I just continued. I never had a serious relationship or a romantic relationship that was more than sex since then."

John looked Alex in the eye and said, " You know. When you let people in and see the real you, it's hard to not like you. I do. I hated you when we first met, but over this semester you have shown me a smart guy who is always ready to help. That's the guy you should show people. That girl was a bad person for what she did and how she made you feel, but you can't let her actions control and ruin your future. It's alright to have relationships that don't involve only sex."

Alex looked at John with surprise, "You really like me?" That's what you pick up on, John thought, but he nodded.

John said, "You said Sebastian was always there for you. That relationship has worked and I know that your friends with Kevin. What's different there?"

Alex thought for a moment before replying, "I guess you're right."

John smiled and said, "It'll take a lot of work, but you could totally do it."

Alex smiled back and said, "Ya. I'll think about it. Thanks. Goodnight, Virginity Club." John smiled, that nickname had originally made him mad, but he didn't mind it as much anymore.

John smiled as he lay back down and said, "Goodnight Whoredigger."

John stared at the ceiling and thought about all he had learned this semester. Not in class, but about himself and his roommate. 

John had always subconsciously known that he was different, but he had pushed it down not wanting to face the fact. Back home he was the pastor's kid who liked everyone and was sweet unlike some of the other guys. He had come here and automatically found someone, Alex, who just pushed his buttons. It just wasn't like him. Then there had been Sara and he loved hanging with her, but she was right it was alright because he did like boys. In fact he liked… no! He couldn't think that right now.

His mind turned to his roommate, his friend, below him. At first Alex seemed like nothing but a flirt who wanted to party, have sex, and get in a frat. It didn't make sense why he was at Mines. But John found out just how smart Alex truly was, after that John was. And he was actually really thoughtful when you got to know him. Alex was an enigma that now chased John in his thoughts. He was actually smart, sweet and ya, hot. John fell asleep with a smile on his face as he thought, I like Alex.


	13. Chapter 12: Alex's POV

The last couple of weeks before Winter Break flew by in a flurry of assignments, projects, study groups, and tests. There wasn't exactly a lot of time for fun unless you had a small break in the evening where you just couldn't study anymore. For Alex these moments were spent with Sebastian hammoking in Kafadar, even in the snow, watching random YouTube videos with Kevin or listening to different musicals with John, each of them showing the other one of their favorites every other day or so. One night the entire suite got together and watched a movie in the common room. 

All these combined to the last few days jumping on Alex from behind. Suddenly Sebastian was asking him if they were going to have Alex's dad or Sebastian's mom pick them up, there was a checkout list on the doors, and everyone was packing for the almost month break. 

Everytime Alex saw a suitcase his stomach twisted as he knew that soon enough he would be back home with all those people who hated him and thought all he cared about was sex. He had gotten out of the town to get away from it and now he was having to go back. He tried to keep John's words in his mind, but it was difficult. How was he supposed to act like himself when he wasn't sure who he was exactly? It didn't matter right now though, he would figure it out.

The weekend before finals was spent packing, aging, and helping John study for the Chem final. John had really come far, Alex thought dreadfully as he checked over an entire study sheet that John had finished without asking for help. There were only a few mistakes on the entire page. So much better than that first test, but John still needed to pass this final to pass the class so they were studying.

After correcting the few mistakes he smiled at the shorter boy and said, "Good job, there's no doubt in my mind that you'll pass the test on Monday." John smiled back and stood stretching then started his own packing.

"When are you leaving for break?" John asked and Alex turned toward him to see a strange light in his eyes.

"Sebastian's mom is picking us up on Thursday after Sebastian's Biology final. You?"

"I'm leaving Friday, it was the cheapest day for flights." 

Alex nodded and turned back to his packing, "You excited to go home."

"Ya, I'm looking forward to Christmas, but right now I'm trying to focus on finals."

"Understandable." It was silent for a moment so Alex grabbed his phone and started playing The Prom soundtrack which played as they packed and cleaned their room.

The next few days until Thursday flew by and Alex finished all of his classes with a great semester. He didn't really want to go home, but at least he had his family and Sebastian and he could always count on Kevin for some memes.

It was around noon when Sebastian's mom came and the two of them dragged their stuff out to her car. He was waiting for Sebastian to finish putting his suitcase in the trunk and He looked around. Apparently basically everyone was leaving today. Kyle and Kevin were putting their stuff in the back of their dad's car. Elijah, who wasn't heading home for Christmas, was helping Oliver get his stuff into an Uber to head to the airport and Kris was coming out to do the same. Ben was watching the others. Alex knew that Ben was leaving later today to head back to Alaska. 

Sebastian had just moved and Alex lifted his first bag up when he heard the side door slam and He glanced back to see John running up the stairs to him. Suddenly his arms were full of the small Texan.

"What?" Alex started to ask.

John let out a delighted laugh as he said, "I passed Chem. The grade for the final just came out and I got a 85. Thank you so much!" Alex smiled wide as he wrapped his arms around the other boy in congratulations.

John leaned back and started to remove his arms from Alex's waist, but on instinct Alex leaned down and their lips met. John's lips were soft and surprised but they melted and started to open a little but Alex jerked back. What did I just do? I was doing so well. He hates me now. I can't believe I did that.

Alex let go of John quickly and flushed stammering, "I'm sorry." Alex saw John start to open his mouth but continued, "I don't know why I did that. I know you're straight and…" his words were stopped by John's lips on his again as the boy reached up and pulled Alex's head closer. They stood like that for a good minute before pulling apart again.

Alex blinked down into John's light blue sparkling eyes as John said, "No, I like guys. I like you." Alex's breath caught as the realization of what was happening hit him. His roommate, his friend, his crush was gay and liked him. He remembered their late night, early morning, conversation just weeks ago, he wanted this to work.

"Thanks for telling me," Alex said softly as he closed the gap between them one more time and softly kissed the boy.

"I hope you want to work for this relationship," John said with a small smirk as they broke apart.

"You know it." Alex replied and both boys broke out of the circle that had seemed to form around them in that moment. Standing around them were all their suitemates along with Sebastian, William, Lee, and Sara. Where all of them had come from Alex wasn't sure but they were all smiling so it was alright.

Sebastian slung an arm around Alex's neck and said, "I told you." 

Sara was standing next to John and Alex heard her softly say, "I told you it would be alright." 

Kevin and Kyle looked at each other before Kevin said, "And they were roommates!" And Kyle replied, "Oh My God, they were roommates!" Causing everyone to burst out laughing. After s few minutes the Uber driver honked his horn and they were breaking up people leaving and saying goodbye to everyone else.

Alex and John put Alex's stuff in Sebastian's mom's car and closed the hood. They turned to each other and John grabbed his hands saying, "I'm excited for where this goes."

Alex smiled as he replied, "I am too. And so promise we'll go at your pace."

John smiled back, "Sounds great, Whoredigger. Let me know when you get home alright."

Alex leaned down giving John one more kiss before saying, "Of course, Virginity Club." Before climbing in the car. As they drove away Alex looked back at John and thought, I'm definitely going to work on this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are at the end. I know there wasn't a lot of their relationship, but I really loved their growth and hope you did too. If you enjoyed it please Read, Review, and Enjoy.


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